Often. Maybe too often, memories surface. They’re primarily images of the child-people that my grown-up children once were. Sometimes as I look at them now, I remember them back then. Floating through my mind are images of their always beautiful, mostly joyful faces looking up at me.
My child-people are grown and they don’t need me now, at least not in the same way as in the past. That’s as it should be. During those years I had purpose and meaning imposed from the outside. These days of semi-retirement, life presents the harder yet still rewarding work of finding purpose and meaning from within. It’s a relief not to be on 24-hour alert and to trust good decisions are made by them. And it’s great to have the opportunity to focus on my own interests.
But. If time machines were an option, it’s back to even one day of their childhood I’d go. I saw time flying by back then and I knew I’d miss those days as we all grew older. But the years slipped by. I’m guessing that re-experiencing it wouldn’t be as I remember. Were those times as idyllic as I recall?
Memories aren’t reliable I’ve read. Even the way I remember past events doesn’t synch up with the way the kids remember them. I recall being tired, days overflowing with action items. Meanwhile the years passed, leaving little time to look up from the chaos and breathe in moments as they flew by. I’d love the opportunity to visit again while I’m relatively unencumbered, awake and focused.
I don’t wish anyone to revert to childhood behaviors and needs. I’d just like to come unstuck in time instead of walking through memories. Then I’d have the chance to re-experience their childhood unfolding as it slipped away before it was gone forever.
Carpe diem,
Jane
Well said. Wish the years of bringing up children did not fly past as quickly as they did. Those with young children should appreciate every moment; before you know it the children leave the house and you only have memories left.
Well said. Wish the years of bringing up children did not fly past as quickly as they did. Those with young children should appreciate every moment; before you know it the children leave the house and you only have memories left.
View lessJane, I read through your “Carpe Diem” piece twice through to absorb these precious thoughts. It really touched my heart because as parents most of us do miss the earlier years with our children, and often wish that we slowed down more to spend the time with them. Time was fleeting but the memories are still with us. And, yes sometimes our memories may be more idyllic than what our children
View moreJane, I read through your “Carpe Diem” piece twice through to absorb these precious thoughts. It really touched my heart because as parents most of us do miss the earlier years with our children, and often wish that we slowed down more to spend the time with them. Time was fleeting but the memories are still with us. And, yes sometimes our memories may be more idyllic than what our children remember but that is okay. Our older child often said when she was going through some dark days that she longed for her childhood wonder. Thank you Jane for writing a beautiful piece.
View lessWord. We grieve the babies we’ve lost, while we celebrate the adults they have become.
Word. We grieve the babies we’ve lost, while we celebrate the adults they have become.
View less