My youngest will graduate from college in May, next week my daughter will move into a new apartment and I will have been married 25 years this September. The quintessential midlife life. So, what’s my crisis?
What I find most alarming about being in my 50s is not my neck, face wrinkles or my sore knees but how much of my life is behind me, causing a reexamination of who I am, what I want and what is next?
Answering “What’s next?” is my crisis.
I’ve recently said to my husband more than once, “We should sell our house” and he replies, “And move where?” He’s not wrong. Where to? What’s next?
But hey, I’m not having a crisis. Doesn’t a crisis happen TO you? A health issue, a breakup, the death of a loved one, is a crisis. If you are the one making the decision to change your life, isn’t that simply a transition, a progression, an evolution?
Isn’t a midlife crisis when your 50 something self finally protests by having an affair, getting a red Corvette, or tattooing a body part? Maybe not.
My husband and I spent decades raising a family, building a home and two businesses; and now as I surface from all the craziness and daily demands, I wonder if what we built no longer suits us. Most days I’m completely fine but there are some moments I feel an itch I just can’t scratch.
“Is this it?”
I think what I’m feeling is left out. Midlife FOMO. My kids are moving on and I’m staying put. No exciting new job or cool digs in the city or trekking through Europe or grad school.
I tell my kids their life can be anything they want it to be. I say things like…
“You’re the director of your life! Write your own script.”
“Live your dream!”
“The world is your oyster!”
Maybe I need to listen to my own advice. What’s next can be anything I want it to be. 50 is the new 30. I just need to find that pearl in my oyster.
April 28 Weekly Newsletter