Over the last month my husband and I moved my youngest into his freshman dorm and my daughter into an apartment to begin her junior year. They are both now about 10 hours from home. After moving my daughter I took a few days to myself to visit family in Florida so as not to face the inevitable… my “empty” home.
My husband picked me up from the airport and gently asked “So…how are you doing?”
Days before when we dropped off my son I was a COMPLETE & TOTAL wreck. I cried for the first 4 hours of our drive home and wasn’t “right” for days. So my poor hubby didn’t know what state I would be in when I landed.
Both my kids were doing just fine so I was actually feeling pretty good. The saying, “A mother is only as happy as her least happy child” is so very true.
I walked in the door of our house, put my bags away and about 30 minutes later I was frantically cleaning out drawers in my kitchen. My husband looked at me and asked “Um…what are you doing?” to which I replied “Cleaning!” For the next two days I cleaned out every drawer, cabinet and closet on our first two floors.
A few days later we met friends for dinner, a couple that had taken their only child to college a few days earlier. I was telling my friend about my manic cleaning obsession. She was doing the same thing! Apparently it’s called Reverse Nesting. When I was pregnant I was nesting obsessed – making sure everything was in place and in order. Now I have an overwhelming urge to clean, repaint, redo, and redecorate EVERYTHING in my house. I think it’s my way of trying to control what I can during an emotional time. Outer order, inner peace.
So it’s been almost two weeks and I’m doing better than I had thought. My husband and I have fun together – when we do anything and when we do nothing. We can do whatever we want whenever we want. For the last 20 years it’s been about our kids and now it’s all about us!
I’m excited to do all the things I’ve been wanting to do but didn’t have the time. So our nest isn’t feeling quite so empty, it’s just feeling a little less crowded.
We love to hear from our neighbors. Please leave a comment below!
Thank you!
Regina
This is great!! I’m crying thinking about it.
This is great!! I’m crying thinking about it.
View lessHi! I just took my youngest to college too. I like to think of this time as “full-best-her” instead of “empty-nester.” As an art therapist helping women with major life transitions in Malvern, many times I see that just after loss, new life emerges–discovering new interests, making new friends, exploring new places etc.. It seems that with our children moving on, we feel the loss of our old
View moreHi! I just took my youngest to college too. I like to think of this time as “full-best-her” instead of “empty-nester.” As an art therapist helping women with major life transitions in Malvern, many times I see that just after loss, new life emerges–discovering new interests, making new friends, exploring new places etc.. It seems that with our children moving on, we feel the loss of our old role, but eventually new life emerges for us too. Anything is possible with our new pair of wings.
View lessLove this! “Full-Best-Her!”
Love this! “Full-Best-Her!”
View lessLife seems to be a series of transitions. As some are adjusting to their children growing up and leaving the nest, I am adjusting to the new phase of having a retired husband at home. As prepared as we thought we were, the challenges are still there. We are adjusting to new routines, new schedules (or non schedules) and the sense that the day is ours to use as we wish. It’s freeing but also
View moreLife seems to be a series of transitions. As some are adjusting to their children growing up and leaving the nest, I am adjusting to the new phase of having a retired husband at home. As prepared as we thought we were, the challenges are still there. We are adjusting to new routines, new schedules (or non schedules) and the sense that the day is ours to use as we wish. It’s freeing but also a bit scary. There’s something to be said for built in structure to our days. So, onward to our new phase. Maybe we’ll clean up a storm soon; goodness knows those closets could use it! ……..OR, maybe we’ll just learn to fill our days with things we want to do, not have to do. Retirement has its perks!
View lessDiane, I couldn’t agree more!
Laura 🙂
Diane, I couldn’t agree more!
View lessLaura 🙂
Gene this is so on point. You articulated the feelings of so many parents I have spoken with over the past few weeks. Friends calling from the airport saying they have such a headache from crying after they said goodbye to their college student. Thank you for your insight to this emotional topic.
Warmly,
Koleen
p.s.
Fall break is coming and some kids are doing the boomerang!
Gene this is so on point. You articulated the feelings of so many parents I have spoken with over the past few weeks. Friends calling from the airport saying they have such a headache from crying after they said goodbye to their college student. Thank you for your insight to this emotional topic.
View lessWarmly,
Koleen
p.s.
Fall break is coming and some kids are doing the boomerang!
[…] since I’m reverse nesting with time on my hands I decided to do something about it. I’m doing a make over! I wanted […]
[…] since I’m reverse nesting with time on my hands I decided to do something about it. I’m doing a make over! I wanted […]
View less